I went to the hospital in late July after suffering back and abdominal pain that lasted 5 hours instead of going away after 3 hours, like it used to do. I was in the hospital for several more hours before I got pain medication, got a diagnosis of gallstones, and was sent home with muscle relaxers to stop the gallbladder from getting upset. I was also put on a very low-fat diet, and I stayed on it for a week. Then, I had a 14-hour gallstone attack that ended in emergency surgery and kept me in the hospital for 3 days.
During the week that separated my hospital stays, one of the few ways I knew I could get the calories I needed without fat was to get more protein, but there aren't many low-fat sources of protein that are also vegetarian, and I was getting really sick of eating a can of refried fat-free beans every day. Additionally, I'd started to crave chicken, and I've always said that I would leave myself open to the possibility of going back to being a carnivore.
That being said, eating meat was weird in the first days and weeks. I've gotten mentally better about just eating it, though I still pick out overly fatty pieces of chicken from bowls of soup and spit out chewy bits into napkins as discreetly as possible. My boyfriend is pleased at the change, as it's the first time since we started dating in 2003 that we've made the same dinner foods together and both eaten the same things, and he's been happily grilling things for me, making me soup, experimenting with stroganoff recipes. He's never pushed me to do anything I didn't really want to do and has been very much there for me no matter what steps I've taken. He's also pledged to help me have a better mental attitude toward food.
My surgery recovery has gone well, though I had some speed bumps along the way to healing. These setbacks mostly involving lifting things that were too heavy, which would set me back a few days. It's now mid-September, and I just recently started wearing pants again (I have been in dresses for a month and a half, buying 3 more and starting to sew a fourth in order to have some variety); waistbands pressing against my abdomen don't feel as much like torture, though it's still not as comfortable as it was before. I've got shiny scars forming above my navel and across the right side of my stomach like a constellation, and they are less tender, less angry, with each passing week.
One of the reasons my pants were so tight, unfortunately, is that my weight fluctuated wildly post-surgery with the water my body retained as I healed, and then I lost muscle and put on fat as I stayed inactive for so long. While the number on the scale is close to what it was two or three months ago, I can definitely tell my body has put on more fat and I've lost much of my muscle definition.
After taking my body out for a test drive while on vacation recently (an hour walking around downtown Austin, some very light swimming), I feel able-bodied again. While I'm not ready to jump back on the elliptical or go back to The New Rules of Lifting for Women just yet, I'll happily put on my sneakers and start walking, now that high temperatures at night are in the low 90s and 80s in these last days of the Texas summer.
Starting to walk again, and soon, is absolutely necessary, as I signed up to do the Koman 5k for the Cure next month here in Dallas. One of my good friends is a breast cancer survivor. Participating is one way I can show solidarity with her, with the added benefit of being able to raise funds for things like cancer research and mammograms. And it's a heck of a motivator to finally get back into my beloved Nike shorts.
In order to do this walk without hurting myself, I plan to start walking one mile every other day and ramp up the distance to the full 3.1 miles by mid-October. Stretching before and after, as well as foot strengthening exercises, will hopefully keep plantar fasciitis at bay.
Becoming active again will help me keep my moods in check. The surgery was a crazy time, but I have to admit to feeling emotionally great afterward because I'd taken care of a long-term medical problem (though it had forced my hand), and everyone I cared about and who cared about me was wishing me well and helping me out. As time goes by, the high ends, and you go back to normality. I've noticed that I've been a little down over the last couple of weeks, maybe because of the seasonal change, and I want to check that before it gets worse.
My diet isn't quite under control. I went kind of crazy with the chicken noodle soup right after the surgery, and I went from having grilled chicken and grilled vegetables all the time to rediscovering Chik-Fil-A and Wendy's. But I still try to watch ingredients and nutrition labels when I buy food, as that habit is thankfully hard to break. My main dietary problems right now are sodas and fast food/restaurant food. Ugh, so many heavy cream sauces. I've striven to make good dietary choices while dining out, but it is sometimes difficult.
When I get all the elements working, as time passes, as I continue to heal, I can slip back into my smaller-sized jeans again and continue working to make myself healthier in every way.
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